did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
