What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Randomize