Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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