The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
