Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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