At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
