That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
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