Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
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