1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Randomize
