I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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