these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Randomize
