I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
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