Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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