You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Randomize
