I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
