we're blogging at a bar
mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
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