You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
You're earring is so big in my mouth
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
That was before I lit my hair on fire
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
