Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
These tits shall not be calmed
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
