I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
Randomize
