oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
