clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
