I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
