Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
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