i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Randomize
