I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
Randomize
