something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
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