oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
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