worst night to have a conscience
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
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