Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
Found your dick twin last night
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize