How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
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