So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
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