Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
