accomplished twins. life is a go
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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