There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize