Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Randomize
