Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
