if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
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