My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize
