4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
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