just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
