I am in a vortex of obligation.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
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