Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
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