I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
Randomize
