Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
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