just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
Houston, we have a squirter
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
