i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
Randomize
