why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize