Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
