I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
Randomize
