Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
Randomize
