I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Randomize
