i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
