I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
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