make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
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