4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
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