Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
