Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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