I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
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