is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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